I'm Catching Up

There’s a passage from the Tao Te Ching that’s been sitting with me lately:

“The valley spirit never dies;
It is the woman, primal mother.
Her gateway is the root of heaven and earth.
It is like a veil barely seen.
Use it; it will never fail.”

I keep thinking about the valley, not the peak, not the place of striving or proving. The valley is the place that holds, receives, and sustains. That’s where I feel most grounded right now.

There’s also a line from The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse that keeps coming to mind.  The boy says, “Sometimes I think you believe in me more than I do.” 

 The horse replies, “You’ll catch up.”

Mark believes in me, in us, and in this little company we’re building. 

I’m catching up. Step by step. Decision by decision. Even when it feels uncertain and unmanageable. I’m learning to trust myself more and more. 

I’m not trying to get to the mountaintop. I’m trying to stay rooted in the valley. I’m learning to enjoy the process instead of trying to force my way through it. We’re building something small and joyful, expressive and real. 

— Jenny